As many of you know, I am just starting my first semester of college. I’ve been in classes for about 3 weeks now. I am attending my local community college to get my AA. I’m taking four online courses and one on campus course this semester.
I want to start off by saying that school has never been my “thing”. I’m someone who has always struggled in school and has had a hard time in a classroom setting. I also moved between my sophomore and junior years of high school to a completely new school, which made having a social life in my recent school years extremely difficult. I was either in classes that I found completely useless or too challenging, no happy medium.
If I didn’t have a community college within driving distance of where I’m currently living I wouldn’t be attending college right now. Before I moved I had always planned on taking a gap year, or waiting to go to school until I knew more of what I wanted to do.
I felt such an immense pressure to go to school right away though. I didn’t feel the pressure from my parents because neither of them went to college and both have been very successful in their adult lives. I felt more pressure from teachers, other family members, and my peers. Everyone around you when your in high school is telling you how important college is and asking you what you want to do once you graduate. I can’t tell you how many people simply asked where I was going to school next year without even know whether I was going to go to college or not.
So almost by default I enrolled in college and here I am today. Why am I still questioning this decision? I know at this point that I am probably not going to be continuing on to a larger university once I get my AA degree. I am most likely going to find work with a company where I will have opportunities to move up, for example a retail store or other similar company. So simply put, I feel like I am getting a degree simply to look better on an application for somewhere that wouldn’t even require any higher education.
I do work now while going to school, and have to continue to do so to support myself which makes everything just a little more challenging. I have recently decided that after this semester I am going to be taking less credit hours per semester so that I don’t feel overwhelmed, which will keep me more motivated to finish my degree. It is likely going to take me 3 years to finish my 2 year degree.
This little chat is but together very nicely and it is more just a ramble of my current train of thought while I try to figure out what to do for the rest of my life. It is more for me than anyone else but I thought I would share. College isn’t right for everyone and I am going through a very stressful time trying to figure out what is right for me. That being said, I am doing well in all of my classes so far this year so that isn’t really an influence on why I am questioning everything so much.
Hopefully some good insight or opportunities come my way soon.